Lately, life has been all over.
And I’m rolling with it.
It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to appear perfect, both in real-life and on the internet. Thinking we always have to be smiling and upbeat 24/7, or that every photo on Instagram needs to be perfectly staged without a thing out of place. I know I’ve felt this way, but the reality is that’s just not how life always is. Ish happens. Sometimes, I’m a little scattered, a little cranky and a little overwhelmed. Let’s get real.
School
Last November, I had my first full on emotional breakdown. I’m talking wind knocked out of me, sobbing hysterically, called my mom and she had no idea what I was saying breakdown. A full on come apart
When I decided to go back to school last year, I made an intricate educational and financial plan for myself to ensure I would be able to leave my job and start a Master’s program fall of 2015. In the beginning, that plan was going great. Then in November I realized I didn’t have a key pre-requisite accounted for in my plan – I had taken a similar class in undergrad but it didn’t fit the requirement and wouldn’t count (I originally thought it would). I went home and tried to re-work every angle of my plan to make sure I could still get all my courses done by next fall, and there was just no way. I would have essentially had to have taken on a full-time course load for several quarters on top of already working full-time. At the time I was already dying with two courses on top of work and other responsibilities, so the idea of piling on another two was out of the question. So it hit me: fall of 2015 wasn’t going to happen. And I freaked the F out.
It wasn’t pretty.
I was a hot mess, but it was because I cared so much. I eventually calmed down, got over myself and realized it wasn’t the end of the world. No, it’s not what was on my plan. But at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason and I am so incredibly blessed to be where I’m at. Now I’m moving into my fourth quarter of school, and now that I have more time to complete my courses I’m taking one class at a time which is so much better for my sanity and overall well-being.
Work
In addition to my day job, I took on a part-time job at the beginning of the year that I absolutely LOVE. It is for a local non-profit organization focused on nutrition education for children. Every week I have the opportunity to go into local fourth grade classrooms and teach kids about nutrition. We cover everything from product marketing, to how to read and interpret nutrition labels and ingredient lists, to understanding food additives. At the end, we even get to cook! I’ve had a blast teaching these workshops and have learned so much over the past several months doing it. Also…kids are hilarious. In case you were wondering.
Food + Fitness
With all that being said, I have managed to still do a decent job getting regular workouts in and not relying on convenience foods. I don’t say that to at all make myself sound like superwoman, because trust me, I’m not. I am far from perfect, and don’t wear my busy schedule as a badge of honor. Rather, I feel like still exercising and eating well is what enables and empowers me to be able to do all of these things. I wouldn’t be able to sit through long lectures after a full day of work if I were crashing from sugar, and I sure as heck couldn’t keep up with 30 fourth graders if I didn’t have some stamina to keep me going. I’m slowly finding what works for me and what doesn’t. The kitchen and the gym are the two places I feel most calm, happy and creative.
Odds and Ends
I recently had a freelance piece published in the spring issue of Darling magazine which was 50 shades of exciting. It’s called “Elevated Movement” and is all about embracing exercise as movement to feel confident, healthy and beautiful. That description sounded really cheesy, but it’s true. If you haven’t read Darling you should get on that. It’s an incredible women’s magazine that is all about real life. There’s no retouching of the photos, no BS. Just real pieces, and photos of real women. I also had a total fangirl moment because Vani Hari aka the Foodbabe has a piece in the spring issue of Darling that immediately follows mine. So that totally means Vani and I are friends/coworkers now, right? Exactly.
Bloggin’
My new favorite thing – Maple Balsamic Brussels with Tahini. Recipe coming soon!
I actually really struggled to write this post because I figured if I didn’t have some sort of recipe, or workout or something to give to people, no one would want to read it. Well, to an extent I’m sure that’s kind of true. But I still think there needs to be a more human element to the blog. Here’s the thing. I love cooking. I love taking pictures. I love putting both of those things together and posting them. However. There’s so much more I want to do, and share. In the coming months, I see TBB shifting from just a food/occasional fitness blog to more of a lifestyle space where I can get real with y’all. Yes, there will absolutely still be food (it’s my #1 favorite thing in life), but I’m ready to start putting a little more me into this blog. I know, I’m probably not as interesting as cookie dough protein bars, or smoothie bowls (who is?). But sometimes I’m kinda funny (hopefully?), and I’m excited to start sharing more bits of real life.
And if anyone actually read this whole loooooong post….give yourself a pat on the back. I’d love to hear what you’re up to in the comments below!
Hey Les,
I can really relate to this post (I actually posted something very similar yesterday too!) It’s healthy to show the more vulnerable side of ourselves- it’s easier to relate to as a reader because you’re right, life isn’t perfect!
It sounds like you’re doing a great job managing school, work, and your passions, and you should be very proud of yourself. It can be stressful, but just keep reminding yourself that you’re doing your best!
I, too, was upset when my ‘timeline’ for going back to school didn’t work out. Looking back now, I’m glad I had an extra year to slow down before starting a program this fall. In the grand scheme of things, this extra year won’t matter at all – what that will matter is that you’re pursuing a dream!
I’m looking forward to following your journey along this process and don’t forget to congratulate yourself on all the small milestones you’ve accomplished.
Lauren, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. It can definitely be tough to admit when we aren’t quite where we would like to be, but I know I too have appreciated your posts sharing your insights. Cheers to following our dreams!
So happy you felt comfortable opening up! I think learning more about the girl behind the blog is so important in making the connection that keeps readers (including myself) coming back. I’m so happy I found your blog. I love your recipes, workouts AND getting to know you.
Your part time nutrition education for kids job sounds amazing! Nutrition education is so so so so so so important so you should feel insanely proud to be the person giving such valuable knowledge.
As UBER cheesy as it sounds everything happens for a reason. I’m a planner. I love plans, but I’m learning how to let them be written in “pencil” more and more.
Thank you so much Georgie, I really appreciate that! I get nervous thinking everything I put out there needs to “add value”, but I do appreciate having great readers like you who appreciate the girl behind the blog as well!
Girl! I loved reading every single word of this post. I hope you know your photography is amazing and makes me want to make, eat and share every single recipe you post. I absolutely love it. I also secretly want to comment on all of your posts, but don’t want to come off as a complete creep hahah 🙂 I look forward to hearing more about you aka the girl behind the camera and the recipes that are posted here. For me, food and recipes always have some sort of story behind how and why they were created – a lot of time for me it’s family!
I too find that it can come off as perfectionism when I focus so much on eating nutritious foods and making workouts a priority, but I am with you where it makes me feel as though I can accomplish the other goals I have set forth in my life. I would never have the energy to deal with 90% of what is thrown at me if I ate like complete garbage. People don’t realize that it’s our secret weapon into being so productive.
Finding your blogging “voice” is a process. I’m still finding mine (let’s be honest, I should be since I’ve only had PB&Jillie a month 😉 ) and even really established bloggers change it along the way. Either way, I’ll always be here reading. xoxo.
Wait, you’ve only been blogging for a month?!!! I didn’t realize that – girl you’re a total pro. Thank you so much for sticking with me here, I always love and appreciate your comments. Can’t wait to see what the future holds for us both 🙂
Great post, Les- One which I think many readers really appreciate.
I wrote a post a while back about removing the perfect life perception after I had readers email me telling me they envied my ‘perfect life’. Bloggers are real people and more often that not, it’s hard to showcase ‘reality’ at times but c’est la vie.
Mad impressed at your ability to balance all that work and study and everything in between!
Thank you so much for stopping by Arman! I remember that post of yours, and found it really refreshing. I think your posts do a great job of keeping it real.